Wine, Women, Song...& Confusion

Well, friends, I would be lying to you if I said everything was well here in, as my former roommate once dubbed it, "The Tomb of Tal-Rasha" (Diablo II reference for those of you who don't know) though things could be going a lot worse as well. As the title indicates, I have a bit to say on each of these topics. I finally got a song player program capable of playing the music files from Deus Ex original, so I am listening to some pretty cool music (I think) while typing this. The down side is this is about all I can do with those files right now (Deus Ex keeps crashing on my PC and I can't find a way to stop it) so it is almost a pale imitation. I have been discovering some of the coolest mixed drinks and have discovered that I like twelve year old scotch very much. So much in fact that I now owe my Dad a new bottle and that stuff if pretty expensive! Thankfully I have my own supply of Southern Comfort that my parents don't touch (they don't like the stuff) until I get something to pay my debts.
As for women, that one is probably the low point of my life right now. Not only do I not have a girlfriend, I don't even have "friends who are girls" anywhere within a twelve mile radius! The only ones I have are, for the most part, at my old college (which is a two and a half or three hour drive from here one way) and I can't see them in person very often (makes even casual dating/hanging out problematic at best) which is what has me down now. Then again, given my current location I am kind of glad I haven't started seeking out someone to be my girlfriend just yet. For me, the qualities I am looking for would be mostly lacking (I tend to look for spiritual qualities, not just physical ones) among those that I am around by present circumstances. Anyway, that leads to the confusion, namely of what exactly is my vocation? I am pretty sure that the priesthood is not for me. Those who know me know that I tend to act like I'll never get married, that I will be a single, eccentric bachelor all my days. Well, the truth of the matter is that I only put on that front because... well, honestly it is because I am frightened that that is my fate, and if it is I want people to think it is what I wanted. The truth is I know that I can't stand by myself in this dark world. My friends help somewhat, but they can only do so much. I know that I probably won't make it if I stay single, and yet what choice do I have? Marriage is a huge commitment and undertaking, and you can't just enter it haphazardly! I don't know what to do, or even what God wants me to do, and that is hard to deal with. Anyway, here is a quote for y'all:
"Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be." - Anton Chekhov
Be well, my friends, and may God be with you.