Forgive the length...

For any story to make sense, context must be given. Unfortunately for you, dearest reader, the context is long here. However, it is from the scriptures, so at least it will be good for you.

A reading from The Apocalypse (also known as The Revelation to John): 6: 1-8
Now I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seven seals, and I heard one of the four living creatures say, as with a voice of thunder, "Come!" And I saw , and behold, a white horse, and its rider had a bow; and a crown was given to him, and he went out conquering and to conquer.
When he opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, "Come!" And out came another horse, bright red; its rider was permitted to take peace from the earth, so that men should slay one another; and he was given a great sword.
When he opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, "Come!" And I saw, and behold, a black horse, and its rider had a balance in his hand; and I heard what seemed to be a voice in the midst of the four living creatures saying, "A quart of wheat for a denarius, and three quarts of barley for a denarius; but do not harm oil and wine!"
When he opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "Come!" And I saw, and behold, a pale horse, and its rider's name was Death, and Hades followed him; and they were given power over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword and with famine and with pestilence and by wild beasts of the earth.

The first rider is traditionally considered to be Christ, followed by War, Famine, and Death (who rides with Hell). Now that you know the context, we move on to the response to Drathai's post.

THE FOUR NEW RIDERS OF THE APOCALYPSE:

I have many friends, but four from my old high school and I are particularly close to each other. I have always call them, jokingly, the four riders of the Apocalypse. I have never really thought about roles in the Apocalypse, or what we would ride, until now. This gives me the excuse to do so. To protect identities, I will use our nick-names. If you know them, then good. If now, oh well!

First comes Slinger the Wise, riding a noble charger of purest white. He carries a flaming sword, which burns the wicked, but spares the righteous. Out of his mouth comes barbs, and those stung by the barbs lose all will to fight.

Then comes Ryoga the Lost, riding a wolf black as night, ferocious and terrible. In his hands is a war hammer the size of a small oak, and he smashes all who oppose him. He wears no armor, but all but the strongest blades break on his skin without so much as scratching him.

Afterwards comes Mad-Dog the Tenacious, riding a stone-grey ram. He is armed with a black bow, and it never misses its target. He never loses sight of a target, nor will he allow any to escape the day of Judgement.

Lastly comes Bedlam the Sadistic, riding upon a mechanical stead. He bears a mobile communications center, from which he commands his armies to the ruin of his enemies. He will play with his enemies long enough to have fun with them, and then destroy them in a sickening, but amusing, way.

And who am I in this hierarchy? I am Neji the Insane, harbringer of doom. I ride a panther the size of a small horse, black as my heart. I wield an axe of ice, freezing all in my path. All shall look upon me and despair!

Ok, I feel better now. Anyway, be safe, all.

An Experiment in Longevity